Meat For Sale

When my Dad saw how dirty my house was in college

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When I run into an old stage 5 clinger at a bar

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When I’m drunk dancing at a bar and someone tells me I look like an idiot

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How I look when I attempt to eat while hungover on the couch

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When someone says I’m gross for getting mayonaise on my Subway

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When I try to impress a girl and she has absolutely no interest

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When one roommate tells me he has leftovers in the fridge and I walk in to find my other roommate eating it

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How I felt when Facebook announced that it was going to begin using hashtags

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When I don’t have my contacts in and I think my clock says I overslept

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When I sing Creed in front of people who have never heard me do it before

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